What’s the best time of year to hunt a Bigfoot?
Do they have a breeding season? Are they edible? How do you kill, skin and stuff one, and how much should you pay for a licence to do so?
Are they called Bigfoots or Bigfeet? And do they even exist?
Those heady questions will be on the table when the Oklahoma Legislature goes back to work next month, after a state lawmaker introduced a bill to establish a “hunting season” for the mythical creature that has eluded humans for centuries.
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State Rep. Justin Humphrey, a Republican, submitted the bill on Wednesday in the hope that it will come into effect on Nov. 1. You know, before the Bigfoots go into heat and stomp all over the state.
The bill calls for the Oklahoma Wildlife Conservation Commission (OWCC) to establish a hunting season for the human-like beast of legend, though it doesn’t go too deep into specifics.
“The Commission shall set annual season dates and create any necessary specific hunting licenses and fees,” the bill reads.
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Bigfoot sightings have been reported across the western United States and Canada for decades, and Oklahoma is a hotbed for such alleged encounters. The state also hosts the annual Bigfoot Festival and Conference, though it was cancelled last year due to the COVID-19 pandemic.
The OWCC has confirmed that the proposal is legitimate, even if its subject is not.
“It is a real bill, yes,” OWCC spokesperson Micah Holmes told Fox News.
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Holmes also indicated that the OWCC is not particularly interested in the idea of a Bigfoot season.
“Here at the department, we use science to make management decisions he said. “We do not recognize Bigfoot as a wildlife species in Oklahoma.”
Humphrey described it as a tourism play in a statement on Wednesday.
“Tourism is one of the biggest attractions we have in my House district,” Humphrey said. “Establishing an actual hunting season and issuing licences for people who want to hunt Bigfoot will just draw more people to our already beautiful part of the state … if they find Bigfoot while they’re at it, well hey, that’s just an even bigger prize.”
He also suggested that the licence and tag would be souvenirs, and that he’d try to establish a $25,000 bounty for anyone who bagged the first mythical creature.
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Humphrey did not say how such a law might be enforced, or whether it might be expanded in the future to include yetis, sasquatches or unicorns.
No one has ever proven Bigfoot’s existence, though many believers have tried — often by traipsing through the deep woods in search of the mythical beast.
Perhaps a hunting licence is the only thing holding them back.
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